A Theater Experience + Final Destination 3 Review
So I once said I’d write movie reviews and baseball stuff on here and I’m doing just that. You saw my baseball stuff, now you see my movie stuff. It’s not easy living in Boston when your under 21 unless your a queer who likes to dance. I do not like to dance and will only do so when incredibly hammered or coaxed to do so by peers(i.e. peer pressure). So in turn, I go to the movies quite a bit with my girlfriend. And let me tell you, going to the movies in the city is entirely different than going to the movies anywhere else.
You can expect the theater to be full Friday night at any new movie. This means expect to sit next to someone without that handy buffer seat. Your tactic of putting a coat there and telling your neighbors that someone’s sitting there doesn’t work in theaters as the annoying cart boy will kindly tell everyone, including you and your imaginary friend, to scoot the fuck in. Ok, so there you are, ready to watch some movie with someone you know on your left or right and on the reciprocal side, a complete stranger.
This is no big deal. I really don’t mind sitting next to a complete stranger…except for one eensy, weensy thing. IF I’m there first, and only IF I’m there first….ask to use the fucking arm rest. Don’t make this a war of elbows. I don’t want to have an elbow confrontation. I don’t like confrontation to begin with and to have to bump elbows for an hour and a half and awkwardly tell my girlfriend about it makes me feel like a big sopping idiot. We can share the elbow rest thats fine….I’m willing to go halves. I’ll take the back half, you take the half closest to the screen. I’m totally not going to go above my half. Once I even asked a girl if she wanted it and she laughed. It’s good to know your neighbors when elbows are involved.
Next, don’t bring fucking Nacho Cheese Doritos to the flick and prepare to crinkle the bag and eat really loud. First off you get the orange fingers that smell like butt after you lick the cheese off and when you laugh the whole row can smell Mexico. Smelly annoying snacks sometimes aren’t avoidable, but don’t make it that bad.
And lastly, where are the youth correctional officers? The next time I go see an R-Rated horror flick I don’t want Lil’ G-Thug and his “gangsta” crew of first graders screaming at the top of their lungs and talking loudly during the previews. Then that guy who’s with his girlfriend stands up and tries to quiet him down and this is what you get:
“Hey can you guys shut up? Please? Shut up!”
“Yo man whatcha talking bout, Shut Up? You best be sitting your ass down fore we cut you! I paid for this movie I’ll do what I want. Shiiiiiittt….”
The guy has no choice but to back down. If he doesn’t, his girlfriend gets to feel even more awkward. They end up moving seats and then I’m left to deal with the thugs without my “guy”. It could have snowballed and I may have been inspired, but that didn’t happen. The worst thing is his buddies jump in and your left on your own against all the scarabs.
With that said, I went and saw “Final Destination 3″ this past weekend with my girlfriend. I really didn’t expect much going into it as the other two flicks were just fun. FD3 was much more like the first movie, which pleased me. The idea has been beaten pretty well, so I knew this was just for the giggles. To say there was a script is to give the movie credit: The script wasn’t it’s strong point, nor should it have been. Instead the script carried a light story to the end which suited it. The acting was crappy; as it should have been. This isn’t a personal journey of Wendy the wunderchick who saw death’s plan. There isn’t any character dimensions and you shouldn’t expect any. The content of the movie laid in it’s action, which it did very well.
The scenes of horror were really well pulled off. A lot of the deaths were pretty inventive and cool. The audience was totally into it, almost trying to figure out which yummy teen was next to die. It was very intriguing to figure out how people were to die. My favorite death is perhaps the truck at the fast food restaurant; totally caught me off guard. The opening scene with the roller coaster could have been done better. It totally captured the emotions of the fear of waiting in line. I felt nervous for the characters. The actual accident is pretty cool, but lackluster in comparison to the first two movies openings. I wanted there to be a shot in the movie much like in the first FD, after Devon Sawa gets off the plane and you see the plane explode in the background. Shot still gives me the heeby jeebys…its haunting. FD3 didn’t have that shot.
The movie was shot effectively, with director James Wong of Willard fame, helming the piece. It’s apparent he had a small movie script to deal with and just made a cool little fun movie. I don’t suggest shelling out $10 bucks to see it, but maybe give it a gander on DVD if you like the series or horror movies in general. Overall it gets a 5 Bones out of 10 Bones for just being fun and not really more.
Stay tuned for more reviews and baseball stuff!