X-Men:The Last Stand Review
“A wholly dissapointing half of a movie”
Comic book movies have their uppers(Spider-Man, Batman Begins) and downers(Fantastic Four, The Punisher). X-Men has been a true constant in the realm of comic book movies. Fans of the series, such as the nerd typing this review, could always depend on X-Men kicking ass and leaving us not wanting to wait. Bryan Singer did such a good job with the first two movies that fans expected nothing less and with a cliff-hanger ending in X2 who could blame anyone for the excitement?
Then the proverbial shit hit the fan. Singer dropped out to direct Superman Returns(!!!) and all these other directors attached themselves to the third X-Men installment. Halle Berry wanted more money and screen time, and then the inclusion of Beast (Kelsey Grammar) drained more money out of the project so that other mutants couldn’t have larger roles, if any role at all. All in all the production went through hell, and I knew this going in.
Brett Ratner ends up helming this “half-movie” and in a way I feel bad for him. He’ll be compared to Singer for making this and perhaps that’s why I found this movie dissapointing. But heres the deal: X-Men: The Last Stand will make a boat load of money, so throwing extra money in can only strengthen the movie. More mutants, more screen time for exisiting mutants, and a longer story would satisfy fans and create better word of mouth. As JoBlo.com reports, X3 lost 70% of it’s audience in the second week, possibly due to bad word of mouth.
This movie had the shortest run time of all three movies which made me angry. If anything the sum of the parts needs to be the longest. This time the story revolves around the return of Jean Grey/ Phoenix and the power she now posseses. The world has also found a cure for mutants to turn them back to humans. Magneto (Ian McKellen) stands to defend mutants while Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart) seeks to create peace.
There were some weird twists and turns in this movie which were entertaining and kind of cool and the action was on par. However, this is all weighed down by a thin story, useless mutants getting more attention and a really rushed feel. Storm(Halle Berry) isn’t that essential of a character and giving her a larger role was unnecessary. Juggernaut(Vinnie Jones) is awful, as he doesn’t even look like Juggernaut. So many relationships and conflicts are not adequately flushed out in this movie, and the movie feels incomplete as a result. Too much was crammed into too little.
Hugh Jackman saved this movie as Wolverine. He’s the anchor of this movie as he provides the only type of solidity throughout this crap-fest. The little thing after the credits is kind of lame as well, so don’t expect much. Will they make an X4? Probably. We’ll see how the action figure sales go with this one. Yes the movie was entertaining and there were moments of coolness, perhaps the last 20 minutes or so, but this one can be skipped. I give this movie a 5 out of 10 Bones for wholly dissapointing me and for being a thin experience.
RATING:
Amazazing. A) I’m tabbing this page and B) your reviews are quite filling, keep up the good work. Thanks for the BB hookup. haha, swell.
Comment by Abe — June 21, 2006 @ 10:21 pm
I agree with most of your review, not only did it feel rushed, but i saw it knowing i had to rush somewhere after and that didnt help. I think it deserves a little more than a 5 though because if there does end up being an x4, then your points about the runtime of the movie and the conflicts not being flushed out are shot. rogues a pussy and where the hell is gambit.
good stuff bones
Comment by t rott — June 26, 2006 @ 3:29 pm
fuck x3.
Comment by todd — June 29, 2006 @ 1:30 pm
like todd says, “fuck x3″.
while i was never a huge fan of the x-men movies, i still enjoyed them (the second more than the first). but x3 just screwed everything up. i was really looking forward to archangel but he was put to no use at all. like everyone else says, the movie was rushed, tried to do too much in too little time, and halle berry can suck my balls because then she won’t be able to talk anymore.
Comment by epicrage — July 12, 2006 @ 7:07 pm