Snakes in a Planecrash: Why this year's "cool" movie is really a "bomb"

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Didn’t see it.  Don’t want to.  There; Answered your question.  At this point I’ll have had half the readers proclaiming themselves as marquee players in this conversation simply because they have spent 1 1/2 to 2 hours of their life watching Samuel L Jackson swear and kill snakes…on a plane.  I am not interested in this movies plot, the humor it may provide or what not: I have grown weary to these cult movies that seem to take off in other aspects of media before the movie does incredibly well, or recieves cult status.

I don’t presume myself to be a person who will like something until it get’s popular.  I still like Boondock Saints and Donnie Darko, two movies that happen to be part of what I’m discussing.  The point is, the reason why Snakes on a Plane failed at the box office is the same reason it was expected to soar; it didn’t take Hollywood seriously.  For every scene kid, every MySpace nerd that adored the very thought of this movie simply for it’s apparent “coolness” there were three people that were impressed with it’s stupidity of concept.  For every person that said to me how cool it could be, there were more who were skeptical about wasting their time.

Snakes on a Plane was this years Napoleon Dynamite.  Granted it wasn’t independent but it generated the same cross culture marketing buzz.  How many T-Shirts for Napoleon Dynamite have been made and sold?  How many posters? Magnets? Buttons?  Retro clothing? Liger drawings?  Now match that to the proceeds from Snakes money-making apparel.  Not only did it have the T-Shirts and posters, but it had an alt-rock CD following and personalized ring tones to name a few things.  What I’m saying is, when a movie becomes a “cult” following after it comes out, I’m skeptical.  When it’s a “cult” before it comes out, I’m damn right scared.

When a movie gathers a cult following, it’s almost not enough to like the movie anymore: It’s a living, breathing object for a group of people at only one moment in time.  How many people “owned” Donnie Darko? How many people relished in their Napoleon Dynamite fandom?  I felt like when I wasn’t wearing the T-Shirt I didn’t like the movie.  When I wasn’t plastering it on my life, I wasn’t worthy to just like a movie. How can you enjoy the simple nature of a decent movie, such as Donnie Darko or Boondock Saints when there is a blitz in alternative culture to have that movie as the “scene” or “it” movie of the moment?  Too much of a good thing can make it bad.

I’m all for making money off of something you create, whether it be action figures or novelty items.  But what Snakes on a Plane did, while being very creative in marketing, is mock what Hollywood has created as a scheme.  It seemed brilliant until opening weekend.  It became annoying all too fast.  It was all too much because maybe that’s the only play the movie had.  It’s like a losing hand in poker that they thought they could bluff their way out of by being so aggressive they move everyone else out.  Maybe blitzing everyone with the message is the only move they could make to make money.  And that’s why they failed.

I would feel bad for the film, but I can’t.  I already feel inundated with gripes from people who give me the “Oh-my-God!You-Haven’t-Seen-It-Yet?!You-Have-to-see-it!It’s-so-stupid!” treatment.  It must be good because it’s the “it” movie of the moment. 

But I’m open to ridicule on this one.  Change my mind loyal Bones Report readers.  If you think I should see it and perhaps eat my words, then comment this.