“Remember all those awkward,angst filled moments at high school parties? That is this movie. Hillarity ensues.”

 The days of R-Rated comedies are upon us and the cast of characters are populated throughout most of the films.  Point being, you can consider seeing Vince Vaughn, Steve Carrell, Paul Rudd and the rest of the proverbial “frat-pack”, in about any R-Rated movie comedy to date.  Is it safe to label these gents the postmark to the 80’s era of Murray-Akroyd-Ramis-Chase?  I’d consider possibly, with the additions of two new driving forces in this arena. Enter Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen, the minds and talent behind 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up and the new teen classic Superbad.

What Superbad has going for it is that it doesn’t pretend to know how geeky the audience is, but merely represents that geekdom as somewhat heroic qualities.  These guys aren’t the typical “Star-Wars-Loving-Comic-Book-Convention-Attending” geeks, but merely represent the driving, underlying quality of most adolescent white males who don’t play sports or are part of the higher echelon of the high-school social hierarchy.  These gents are horny, dirty and lovingly pathetic.

And that’s what’s so endearing.  Our heroes, Seth and Evan along with cohort Fogel (a.k.a. McLovin), are so easy to get behind and so easy to laugh at and with.  Their arrested development  seems funny because it strikes home (at least for me at some level) so strikingly.  This movie is possibly one of the funniest movies I’ve seen with characters that are unforgettable.  The dialogue is spot on and just purely hysterical.  This movie totally captures the awkwardness of being in high school.

The actors, though relatively unknown, hit the bullseye on their preformances and just make memorable moments.  The underlying theme of “the greatest love of all” possibly being your best friend is shown so endearingly and so, awkwardly homo-erotic, that between laughs, I found myself “Awww…”-ing.  The cops are purely comedic and also give a little to the message and idea of the movie.

This movie earned it’s R-Rating and rightfully and happily so.  I don’t remember laughing that much at a movie in a long time.  While there are some moments that detract from the message just for pure potty humor or comedy, the film never loses it’s momentum.  The subtleties of being able to portray the angst filled moments of our youth never get’s old, and Superbad captalizes big time.  I give this movie a 9 out of 10 Bones, losing a Bone for some drag and detraction, but not totally noticeable.  See this movie with a good friend, and you may find yourself looking over at them and tapping them on the nose. Boop!

RATING:

“Yippy kay yay Mother-PG-13″

 The Die Hard movies are single handledly some of the best action movies you’ll ever see. The first one is about as classic as you can get as far as charismatic characters, cool premise and badass action. Bruce Willis doing John McClane lends itself so easily to the action genre that it’s almost unfair. He is, in my flawed opinion, the best action movie character of the past 20 years. When the concept of dragging this franchise into a 4th volume came about, it really didn’t bug me. Willis is still in good shape and the character can still work. He’s like this crazy James Bond type character that can pretty much go on until his age deems it purposeless. That being said, Live Free or Die Hard was pretty much what one could expect from a Die Hard movie, except without the swears and attitude.

The script moves from action beat to action beat with rising tension and crazier situations.  What worked in the best two Die Hard’s, being the first and Die Hard with a Vengeance, was that the action and craziness each moved together well, with each moment contributing to a future moment.  Now that isn’t to say that the action scenes weren’t connected, but the way they were connected were very flimsy.  Nevertheless, much like many summer blockbusters, it’s less about story and more about spectacle, and at least with this one we get a loveable character.  But what makes John McClanes “big- dick-swinging, punch-first-ask-questions-later” attitude alluring, is that he is a blue collar hero.  There is an interesting moment in the film where him and Justin Long talk about his values as a hero, and it seems that this dialogue is best suited in another film.  We don’t want to know why McClane chooses to be the thorn in the enemies side, but simply that he is hillarious and suited for it.  There isn’t one particular quality about him as a hero, but more him as a character.  This is what makes Die Hard so amusing;  a nouveau cowboy beating up baddies because he’s just that stubborn and angry.

The effects were cool and the spectacle was what you could expect, but overall this film felt watered down and like it was castrated.  That isn’t to say that the F-Word needs to be dropped every two seconds or that exploding heads need to be viewed, but give us what the films before had given: balls to the walls, no holds bar.  Die Hard was an action series with an attitude; grisly, crazy situations with a protagonist who really didn’t want to be there. The ending was bleh, and the driving point of McClanes daughter is more to drive home a point of revenge.  It’s fun; it’s funny and cool, but hardly lives up to it’s predecessors, barring maybe Die Hard 2.  For a film series chock full of grit and bad ass, this is the puppy of the kennel.  This film get’s a 7 out of 10 Bones, for being fun, but not good enough.

RATING:

“It’s like watching a porn, except substitute sex for robots.”

Robots in disguise…ahh the sound of those words to my ears were so appealing…when I was 6.  Now I get to hear them 16 years later, in the form of a big screen, summer action movie with the pop-action movie maestro Michael Bay at the helm.  What more could a pre-pubescent, under-developed male ask for? Herego, any movie based around robots who transform into cars and conversely blow things up rocks in my book.  As the 1980’s retro look becomes the attainable style for pop-culture these days, it is no surprise to see that influence bleed into the medium of film.  Shall we all agree that perhaps there is a dirge of resources with which to make movies for the Gen-Y generation, or as I like to call us the “A-Little-Too-Late-for-John-Hughes” generation? Transformers, as a toy, was the perfect fodder for mid-summer action fare.

And it doesn’t dissapoint, if your into over the top action with little to no intellect.  Transformers gets it right with balls to the walls action, explosions and effects.  What it doesn’t get TOTALLY right is the story.  But then again, do we really need a story?   Transformers is about robots who turn into stuff who blow things up; they’re toys.  Toys are meant for enjoyment.  Do we look at toys and analyze there purpose?  And if so, is that merited? Especially here, it isn’t.  The story has it’s issues, and mostly a B+-level cast, featuring the ever-so-quirky and increasingly likeable Shia Leboeuf, who if it weren’t for him, would have been boring in the moments robots weren’t fighting.

So it’s a little watery on the story side.  But by the time you realize you’ve spent two and half hours trying to buy into a plot thinner than Dunkin Donuts New Iced Tea!, you’ll have realized you’re witnessing a spectacle.  Bay once again flexes his explosive might in the most positive way; making you forget that the story is ascinine. The action sequences are intense and erratically fun, with the robots being the characters the audience cheers for, long after they steal the spotlight from Shia.  There is no one better in Hollywood than blowing shit up and making car commercials with stories than Michael Bay.  ‘Nuff said.

Let me get around to it.  Transformers was a fun fare, a spectacle and eye candy for 2 1/2 hours.  Having seen it twice, I can say it’s a bit harder to watch the second time around, kind of like a rollercoaster doesn’t lose it’s fun factor after the first ride, but doesn’t measure up to it’s first ride the second time around.  Transformers doesn’t get a free pass from me for just being spectacle, but if I wanted to see it twice, it must have excited something in me.  Perhaps that excitement comes in watching parts of childhood on the big screen or perhaps the few endearing moments of the film were good enough to make me want to see it again.  This doesn’t try to do too much and certainly accomplishes more than enough with cool action, cool robots and some comedy. Theres no thinking here; just preverse fun.  And the reason why it works, is because it’s not trying to be more.  Like a toy, this is meant for enjoyment.  I’m giving this an 8 out of 10 Bones for being a true summer action movie, and losing 2 Bones for not conquering the potential of better story.

RATING:

 ”Magical? I think not.”

Don’t you hate it when people always say “The book was better”? Well, yeah. Literature, in general, tends to engulf a reader while movies stimulate in less time. That isn’t to negate the possibility of a movies power on a viewer, but literature has a more personal impact.  This is because we create the wolrd the author describes, and we develop nuances.  It’s always dicey to make heralded(or unheralded for that matter) pieces of literature fit exactly right in a movie.  But if we were making a go-to-guide on how to transfer a book to movie successfully, this movie would not be on that list.

I am a Potter fan.  I was at the midnight mosh-pit at Borders books to get my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows(more on that later). As unbiased as a biased man can be, I will explain my dissapointment with this flick.  Let me begin by saying that this book isn’t the best out of the 7; it may be toward the bottom of the list.  It’s still a fun book and definetely worthwhile, but it’s a story that pales in comparison to the other masterpieces of the set.  That being said, the movie had no kinetic energy, no undercurrent of excitement whatsoever.  It felt to me like the actors are tired of doing these films and they’re simply going through the motions.  This all began after the third movie.

Goblet of Fire is such an easy story to transfer onto the big screen, what with it’s action beats already in place. Viewers were spoiled with the first two movies coming out as solid as they were, and truely spoiled when Cuaron made the third movie(A movie I’ve grown to appreciate).  Order of the Phoenix has the effects and the magic, but lacks some truely endearing moments or any sense of chemistry or energy.  Rupert Grint, the actor who plays Ron, used to drop clever one liners and deliver funny moments. No longer. The chemistry between the 3 main actors has either whithered or simply died, and the movie itself serves as nothing but fufilling a requirement.

I was always against changing the Potter cast.  I thought that if the actors could maintain their energy and chemistry, the movies would continue to be fun affairs.  The past two movies have dwindled in that aspect.  This movie, while providing good action, good effects and a story that is laden with intrigue, drops the ball with literally no type of…well…fun. Credit to be given is to Radcliffe, the Potter himself, who is a gifted actor, and who maintains some semblance of the character he has helped re-create.  I understand the story must be trimmed and cut down, and I had no problem with their omissions, but the movie felt flat. Barring the finale and some cool moments involving Voldemort, the movie drags. The concept for book 5 is to set up the coming closing films and to please fans with a solid movie. This movie pales badly in comparison to it’s predecessors, taking some of the good of the earlier installments and totally missing the point of the kinesis that is inherent in Rowling’s prose.

I was sorely dissapointed by Order of the Phoenix. I’d love for the people producing this to find some fresh talent to help invigorate this franchise in it’s final two (and best) installments.  Rowlings work deserves better than this “going-throug-the-motions” crap the cast and production team has pieced together.  This movie get’s a 5 out of 10 Bones, for just not getting there and lacking in energy.

RATING: