Alien vs. Predator: Requiem Review

 I originally thought about just making this review  “LoL!”, but I figured I’d at least give it a little bit of love.  If we didn’t get enough diarrhea with the first debacle that was Aliens vs. Predator, we get this hunk of steaming dookie.  I figured I’d make my feelings known immediately so as to not string anyone along.  The original trailers for this made it look really cool and the concept was actually very intriguing, but of course, mis-executed and totally crap…but funny in the worst way.

 Theres nothing worst than Hollywood making movies with big effects and budgets that come off as B-movie laugh-fests.  I was enamored by the lack of quality in the script and frankly the talent they could pull out for this flick.  There wasn’t a real known star in this, which isn’t always a bad thing, but that would have at least legitimized the crappiness.  It would have shown me that they at least put some effort in trying to legitimize this cirque de stupide.  But enough bashing…let’s get down to the brass tacks.

 Theres a negative backlash against this movie and for good reason, and perhaps I’m a bandwagoneer, but I tend to agree with said backlash.  There is no semblance of execution in this.  How can two franchises such as Aliens and Predator not be mashed together and not retain the greatness of the individual franchsies as seperate entities? In other words, how can Guinness and Bass not go together to make a great Black and Tan?  It boggles my mind.

And when did the AvP series become a wrestling match between Aliens and Predator?  If I wanted that type of entertainment, I’d just watch Monday Night Raw and have wrestlers dress up as such.  Look, the flick was campy and gory yada yada…but it felt like the lowest rent of such.  The only redeeming factors in this movie is the unintended humor.  Example being this line: “People are dying. We need guns”.  Explain to me the logic of that line. 

 All in all, maybe campy was what the directors(The Brothers Strause) had intended for the film, in which case they succeeded but not in a way that does justice to the series or the film.  I don’t know how seriously this film was taken in making it and that of course reads to the audience.  How can such a great concept go wrong is beyond me.  And what does Requiem have to do with the story, other than sounding cooler than AvP 2.  How does a movie like Freddy vs. Jason manage to entertain and be fun and a movie like AvP and AvP:Requiem fail to miss the mark? This movie is somewhat entertaining, not intentionally funny and overall just kind of schlocky and dumpy.  Skip it until DVD or entirely.  This gets 2 out of 10 Bones for being laughably bad, but still got some chuckles and some decent gore/action.

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