Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Review
“Indiana Bones and the Search for What Went Wrong”
Every person must have moments with movies that clearly resonate throughout their lives. I was lucky to start early. I got to thinking of what my earliest memories of movies were the other day and came up with what I believe to be a solid top 5. My top 5 cinema memories from my childhood could be ranked as such:
5. My dad making me watch Goodfellas and Casino at age 9.
4. My dad making me watch anything with John Wayne and also a movie called Real Genius(I cheated and made 2 here, but I watched them usually back to back).
3. My dad making me watch Back to the Future.
1. My dad making me watch Star Wars.
I owe a lot to my dad as far as my love of movies go, and for those of you keeping score, you’ll notice that I skipped #2. I did this because I’m writing a review of an Indiana Jones movie, and it really is my 2nd best memory from cinema childhood, but in order to keep up this chain of drama, I had to make special note of it. Watching Raiders with my dad is one of my favorite memories as a kid. I can’t remember a time I wasn’t more excited than possibly Star Wars. And for some reason, I had to call and apologize to my dad after seeing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and apologize. I apologized FOR George Lucas, who took a dump on our memory.
Ok after waxing nostalgic, here it is; this movie is not good. I’m sorry. I wish I could say it was great and transcendent and everything. I’ve thought very long and hard to make sure I’m not making this judgement because I’m a big Indy fan, and I think I’ve pushed myself into the realm of possibly doing that. That’s because it’s a bad movie to boot, and worst because the bar is set so high.
My thing is this: Lucas was aiming for 50′s B-Movie. That totally works as an aesthetic. However, with an A-list cast and one of the best directors ever, do we have to aim for overall quality as well? Harrison Ford didn’t feel to me like Indiana Jones anymore and it had nothing to do with his age. I get that characters change and yada yada…but I saw a shell of the man that was once Indy in this movie.
Nothing is at stake in this flick. There is no one to cheer for because I didn’t care about any of the characters (except for Indy and that was a stretch). Indy was always a maverick, cowboy, the very essence of a modern day American cowboy who did it all as he went and if he had help, cool but not necessary. In this flick, we follow a bumbling group of mannequins chase after an object that sparks no real peril. Crystal Skulls? Who cares! There is nothing at stake for Indiana and apparently his band of bumbling sidekicks.
Ok so some of the action was cool and there were some fun comedic and dramatic moments. I’ll give it that. For the movie fan in me, the movie was a drag. For the Indiana Jones fan in me, this movie was a heartbreak. Shia LeBouef is solid (again) but can’t really make me care too much. Needless to say, I did not like this movie. It was a pretty draggy action flick and a disgrace to the original Indiana Jones flicks. And I have to say that because it is an Indiana Jones movie. It can’t be spoken of in a breath without being compared. This movie gets a solid 4 out of 10, for being boring, soul less and ultimately a let down with a few redeeming moments of nostalgia, comedy and action.
RATING: 